Welcome to fluBay.co.uk
Panicked by the media?
Insist on taking flu antivirals even though you're not ill, it's against doctor's advice, and it'll reduce stocks for everyone else?
Want to make some cash?
Faked flu symptoms to an overworked call centre worker and got your hands on some antivirals at the expense of some other poor sod?
Actually ill with flu?
You should probably get to the actual UK government flu service page. This isn't it. Hope you recover soon.
From our sellers
10 Tamiflu 75mg pills MINT AAAA UNOPENED CONDITION — 1 bid, £0.19
This is the REAL THING, I got the bloke on the phone at the advice line to A OK me. NEVER OPENED COMPLETELY UNUSED these are waht you need. …
Timiflu: homeopathic flu medicine **LOOOK** — 10 bids, £9.56
We got a flu sufferer to sneeze into a bucket, filled the bucket with water, sloshed it round a bit, emptied and refilled the bucket ten times, and put the water in little important-looking bottles. It's science …
More from fluBay
Stock photography!
Designed to panic you into irrational actions! Look out! You could need some of these soon! Better stock up! Flu! Flu! The world is ending!
Pandering to alternative medicine
- Gullible and susceptible to placebo effects?
- Like the idea of medicine without all the nasty effectiveness and efficiency?
- Why not look into our alternative flu therapies, specifically designed to weed out the thick ones.
Advice
Oh no, my friend is sneezing!
The Daily Mail recommends taking a bucket of red paint and splashing an X on their front door. Dressing up in a beaked plague mask is optional, but hilarious.
Oh no, I'm sneezing!
It's probably hay fever.
No really, it's bad.
Well, the government's been pressured into setting up a helpline at the very last minute because of the damned media panic about it, so you can give that a try.
It's engaged.
That's because every prat's panicking about the flu. Sorry.
But what if swine flu mutates?
This isn't the bloody Andromeda Strain.
Seriously! It might!
Oh, then it'll be basically be like Threads, as gangs of tired, malnourished survivors armed with pitchforks surround Tamiflu depots and get shot by traffic wardens. Good luck with that. Honestly, two sneezes and the whole "stiff upper lip" thing completely disappears.
Made by Tom Scott (web site, email, Twitter) for a cheap laugh. Get well soon. | More stuff like this